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Sorry kids, no feet.

I am a former stay-at-home mom who has given up her hopes and dreams of becoming a professional reader. I now spend my days showing small children how to play games on computers. Right now I'm living vicariously through my 9 year-old who is reading everything she can get her hands on. 

Currently reading

City of Masks
S. D. Sykes
Roma: The Novel of Ancient Rome
Steven Saylor

Questioning My Parenting Skills- Episode 1 (of potentially millions)


I am sort of a nerd. According to my 13 year old brother, I am only allowed to be sort of a nerd because I have never seen an episode of Doctor Who and I don't like Game of Thrones. The Doctor Who thing I may remedy some day when I decide to subscribe to Netflix again. Even at that point it is probably unlikely. I have heard that it is one of those shows made for binge watching. Like I have time for binge watching anything. I don't even have time to get to the movies I really want to see before they are out on DVD. The Game of Thrones issue will more than likely never be resolved. There is another adult in my house who watches the show. I've fallen asleep during two episodes and during the third I got so bored that I got up to make tea and never came back. 


When it comes to super heroes however, I'm all over that game. I have a rule about going to see movies in theaters on opening nights. The rule is I don't do it. I did it for all of The Lord of the Rings movies. It was terrible. There are too many people. The space is too small. I get claustrophobic. I can't do it. I may make an exception to my rule this weekend and go see Suicide Squad. Chances of that actually happening are slim. I still have little people in my house who require adult supervision. I'm not one of those parents who thinks it is appropriate to bring her children to any movie that's rated PG-13 or higher. If it isn't PG or lower and animated, my children don't need to be there. Besides, do you know what it would costs for five of us to go to a movie? I would have to take out a second mortgage on my house! I have three girls. I'm saving the second mortgage for when they are all teenagers in need of shoes and clothing. 


What does any of this have to do with my parenting skills? It provides a little context for my adventures in parenting today. The Killing Joke, which in my opinion is one of the greatest graphic novels EVER, was released as an animated feature today. Seriously? Harry Potter and Batman in one week?!?!? What did I do to deserve this? Anyway, I went out and bought a copy of The Killing Joke. Not just a copy. The copy that came with a special edition Joker figurine (featured above) and a copy of the graphic novel, The Man Who Laughs.


I should take this opportunity to mention that my four year olds love Batman. For their last birthday we didn't just have a princess party, we had a princess/Batman party. I made them a big round yellow cake with a giant bat symbol in the middle. They ran around in princess dresses wearing Batman tiaras smacking each other with light sabers (whole other blog post). It was great. Last year for Halloween, my mother made them each their own Batgirl dresses which they proceeded to wear every other day until Christmas. While my seven year old dances around the house singing "Let it Go", my twins jump all over my furniture doing their best Christian Bale impression "I'm Batman!" These two are committed. 


So imagine their excitement when mom picked up a new Batman cartoon at the store. Before I could even process what she had done, Twinker B ripped the movie out of my hands and barreled up to the register with Twinker A running behind her yelling about a new Batman cartoon. The trip home was on long attempt at reasoning with a pair of Batman obsessed four year olds. 


"You guys can't watch this movie. It is not for kids."


"But it's a Batman cartoon."


"Yes. It is a Batman cartoon but it is not a Batman cartoon for kids."


"But it's a Batman cartoon."


"It is a Batman cartoon for grown ups. Not little girls. It has some very scary parts in it."


"But it's a Batman cartoon."


"It's not a Batman cartoon like Lego Batman. It's scary."


"But it's......." I think you get my point. 


So tonight after my children have gone to bed, I am going to open a bottle of my favorite beer, put on my favorite Batman pjs (Yes, I have Batman pjs), and watch a Batman cartoon. Then before I go to bed, I'm going to hide any evidence suggesting said Batman cartoon ever existed.