I am a former stay-at-home mom who has given up her hopes and dreams of becoming a professional reader. I now spend my days showing small children how to play games on computers. Right now I'm living vicariously through my 9 year-old who is reading everything she can get her hands on.
Once upon a time, ribbons were sewn around condoms to help courtesans know what size they were. Apparently you did not want a yellow ribbon.
I'm telling my husband this and he stops me mid-sentence.
"So they poked holes in them? To put ribbons in them?"
"That's my understanding."
"The first thing every guy in college learns is that you only want one hole in your condom."
"What's the second?"
"When in doubt, use two."
Meghan Markle has a lip biting husband who tells her how amazing she looks. Mine is telling me about condoms and college boys. I think it's safe to say we are out of the newlywed phase.