Sorry kids, no feet.

MY LIBRARY IS OPENING UP TOMORROW!!!

Well sort of. They are starting curbside pick up. Anything that was ordered before they shut down is being fulfilled first. That means I already have 20 books to pick up. They aren't all mine. 

I'm definitely not reading as much as I thought I would. That whole, I have to be a teacher for three children thing is really eating into my free time. My 11 year old? She's beyond thrilled. She's read and re-read most of what we have in the house. 

What a fine feeling it had been to bring the hammer down squarely on the head of a nail, driving it through a plank into a fence post as the impact echoed in the morning air. But on the very first stroke of this hammer what the Count squarely hit was the back of his thumb. (Lest you have forgotten, it is quite excrruciating to hammer the back of your thumb. It inevitably prompts  a hopping up and down and the taking of the Lord's name in vain.)

But Fortune does favor the bold. So, while the next swing of the hammer glanced of the nail's head, on the third the Count hit home; and by the second nail, he had recovered the rhythm of set, drive, and sink - that ancient cadence which is not to be found in quadrilles, or hexameters, or Vronsky's saddlebags. 

It's possible I uttered a four letter word or two of my own when I envisioned a hammer hitting a thumb. 

Elizabeth Chadwick has been a can't miss author for me. Eleanor of Aquitaine is one my favorite historical subjects. The combination of these two things should have made for a book that begs to be devoured in a day, right? Not so much. 

For starters, the elephant in the room is Sharon Kay Penman's Henry II and Eleanor of Aquitaine series. Those books are pretty much the bar for the period. I have yet to read anything involving Eleanor that comes close. That remains true today. 

Secondly, and most importantly, these characters were difficult. I have yet to come across an interpretation of Louis VII that is anything other than a spoiled child who allows himself to be handled by anyone and everyone. This Louis is much the same. The one difference in Chadwick's Louis is his tendency towards violence. Especially violence towards Eleanor. I wasn't a fan. It seemed to be an easy way to get the reader to dislike Louis. It wasn't necessary. Louis had plenty of other unlikable traits without needing to be an abusive husband on top of it. Not that Eleanor was any better. Spoiled is the only word that comes to mind to describe this girl. I will never justify violence. However, I can see where Louis would want to spend his time with literally anyone else. All Eleanor does is whines about how things are done in Aquitaine. Newsflash, you're in Paris. You're Queen of France. Last time I checked, Queen trumps Duchess. 

We all know the story about how Eleanor and Louis end up having their marriage annulled. Eleanor flees back to Aquitaine where she immediately falls into the waiting arms of Henry, current Duke of Normandy and future King of England. Not just his arms as we will find out for most of the last 20% of the book. Not that the amount of time they spent in bed should come as a surprise to anyone based on the number of children born in a rather short amount of time. 

The book ends with Eleanor and Henry arriving in England to claim the English throne. Because of the author and because of the subject, I will be picking up the second book in the trilogy. I know going into it that Eleanor and Henry are going to butt heads about a lot of things but I'm holding out hope that Chadwick has decided that at 30 years of age, Eleanor is done being a spoiled child. 

My final issue with this book is with the author. I'm the kind of person who always reads the author's notes if they are included. I am especially interested in the author's notes when it comes to historical fiction. I like to see how authors justify toying with the facts to fit their story needs (Unless you are PG. Then everything you are writing is fact because you say it is). A lot of author site sources, list off a few books they consulted, and maybe even some of the relevant places they visited. Chadwick does many of these things. The source that stood out the most? Chadwick used an alternative research method. Akashic Records. I had no idea what that was before Chadwick mentioned it. I ended up down a rabbit hole until well past my bedtime doing my own research. If you haven't heard of the Akashic Record, I encourage you to do your own brief Google search. I don't even know where to start with explaining why you would consult Akashic Records for historical research. I feel if you are unfamiliar with the term, you need to research it on your own to understand the level of disbelief I'm at. 

In related news, I think I need to see if any of my streaming services have The Lion in Winter. 

Dates read 4/1/2020-4/26/2020

Book 30/75

"The principal here is that a new generation owes a measure of thanks to every member of the previous generation. Our elders planted fields and fought in wars; they advanced the arts and sciences, and generally made sacrifices on our behalf. So by their efforts, however humble, they have earned a measure of our gratitude and respect."

-Count to Nina 

"And I will be sure to say please and thank you whenever I ask for things. But I have no intention of thanking people for things I never asked for in the first place."

-Nina to the Count

I already love the addition of Nina. 

I had to look up mille-feuille. Now I'm hungry. Potential new quarantine skill up coming.

I still find myself unable to focus on anything overly complex. I'm slowly working my way through The Mirror and the Light but find myself only able to read about ten or so pages at a time. I blame the kids. They're every where. I'm tired of people telling me this is just like summer vacation. It is nothing like summer vacation.

Anyway, this book made for a good filler. Honestly, if I had been looking for anything more complex, I probably would have hated this book. Louise was a little stuck up. She cried all the time. Nothing about her personality made her very likable. Of course it is made very clear to the reader early on that we aren't suppose to be interested in her personality. 

Louise aside, the pacing of the book was off. The author drags us through three years of "will they, won't they" for nearly 300 pages. Then suddenly it's a "As you know Bob" in the last 100 pages to cover 14 years of the reign of Charles II. 

I see the author has two other books covering two of Charles' other mistresses (Barbara Villers and Nell Gwyn. The book about Barbara I'm interested in. The book about Nell Gwyn? Well if she's the same Nell Gwyn we meet in Louise's story, I'm going to pass. 

Dates Read 4/20/2020 - 4/23/2020

Book 29/75

I needed this.

Now I just need someone to handle the girls' schooling tomorrow so I can fully commit myself to Ms. Mantle.

I would like to start by pointing out that Elentarri warned me about this book. I didn't listen. Next time I would be wise to listen. I would have listened better if this book had been a little bit more difficult. However, it was a pretty easy read. The writing, while incredibly messed up, wasn't difficult by any stretch of the imagination. 

My life is full of what the f*ck moments. This book was more than a moment. Honestly, I'm not even sure what I read. It was somewhere between a mafia drama and soft core porn. Sure that combination works out on television but when you add in a crazy mf'er who rambles on and on about "Hidden Things", you get something other than cable entertainment. Again, I'm not really sure what I just read. I definitely do not recommend it. I've already sent a text to the local librarian saying that this book should just go away. It's the type of book that's going to offend someone around here. Like bring back out the book burning (burning would be an acceptable fate for this book) brigade type of offense. Ahh....rural, red America. It's a lovely place to raise a family.  I digress. 

If I'm being honest, I'm not surprised this was a bad book. I always tend to get bad books back to back. This means my next read is either going to be epic or another utter disaster. There's no in between. At least I'm consistent.

Read 4/13/2020 - 4/14/2020

Book 26/75

I'm not really sure what's going on here but I like when they talk about food. 

An Italian fashion photographer named Fabio and teenaged boys thinking about boobs? What kind of cliche hell am I getting myself into?

This book was such a disappointment. I loved Loupas' book, The Red Lily Crown. I loved how she told tales of the de Medici family and brought Renaissance Italy with all its intrigue to life. Someone who did what she did with the de Medici's should have easily handled Mary, Queen of Scots, and all the drama of her Scottish entourage. One would think.

This book was a disaster from the start. Rinette's wedding is forcibly disrupted by a group of Scottish brutes who want to force her marriage to someone else. This starts a theme that will carry throughout the entire novel. ALL Scottish men are brutes. They are savage, bodice-ripping, dagger-carrying, brawling-in-the-streets brutes. The French aren't any nicer but they dress better so the author is a little more forgiving of their actions.

And then there is the one and only Mary, Queen of Scots. She was worse than the brutes. For starters, Loupas' MQoS made Charles VI of France look sane. I recognize that there were actual, legit issues with MQoS. Most biographers suggest she suffered from the same disease attributed to King George III's bouts of madness. Sorry but if Mary is really as awful as Loupas makes her out to be, her bastard half brother actually makes her disappear and puts the crown on his own head. He doesn't waste years fighting with her before fleeing the country. So maybe it's all a little more complicated than that. But is it really? Loupas would have you believe that it's really not. After all, Scotland is overrun with violent, wild men who can't stand being told what to do by any woman no matter what her title is.

Somewhere in all of this, there's a casket (foreshadow alert) containing letters and a mysterious prophecy written by the one and only Nostradamus. These items were property of Mary's mother, Marie of Guise. Rinette is entrusted with this casket and told to deliver it into Mary's hands upon Marie's death. Instead of just handing the casket to Mary as soon has she is off her French boat, Rinette decides she's going to hold on to it. She thinks she's going to bargain with someone she hasn't talked to or seen since they were eight years old. Before she had been Queen of France and Queen of Scotland. Spoiler alert- It doesn't work out very well for Rinette. 

Last issue with this book -

I'm so over authors who spend all kinds of time telling me about their heroines who are strong, brave, and independent women who don't need a man only to have the story ending with a woman who needs a man because she spent the whole book making bad choices. That was a terrible run on sentence. It's exactly how the thought came out of my brain. I'm not apologizing. Just acknowledging. Anyway, if she's (Rinette or Mary. Take your pick.) so smart, why does she continue to make so many bad choices? Both things can't be true. Beyonce has told us as much several time. 

Loupas has one other published work I have on my TBR. It takes the reader back to Italy. I'll probably pick it up only because I loved her last venture into Italy. Maybe it's just Scotland with all of its brutes that's the problem. 

If I were able to get to the library right now, this book would have gone back unfinished. As it is, I cannot get to the library so I might as well read all of the books I have. 

Dates read 4/5/2020 - 4/13/2020

Book 25/75 

According to literature, Mary, Queen of Scots, is either a stupid, foolish girl who has no business running a country or she is a spoiled girl who will throw all the tantrums until she gets her way. There is no in-between. This book, however, manages to convince the reader Mary is a lot of both. Ugh. 

We needed to get rid of bananas today. Nobody in my house likes banana bread so that wasn't a choice. One of the twins has recently been complaining that she misses the breakfast cookies she gets at school. Personally, I think she just misses second breakfast. I also think she's part Hobbit but that's a different story. 

So off to Pinterest I went. I seriously don't remember a life before Pinterest. I remember when it first launched. It was my first stint as a stay at home mom right after the twins were born. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time living vicariously through Pinterest moms. 

In addition to breakfast cookies, I managed to find a banana brownie with a frosting that looked to die for. Spoiler alert, I could have eaten the whole bowl of frosting and not felt bad. 

Banana Breakfast Cookies - I didn't have regular quick cook oats. I only had quick cook steel cut. They worked just fine. We also didn't add pecans or any other nut because my family isn't a huge fan of baked goods with nuts.

Banana Blondies - Even if the bars don't appeal to you, save the frosting recipe.

The flower piece of this novel is fascinating. I would love to know what kind of flower Rinette sees me as.

But...

Scottish lords are bastards. Many of them literally and figuratively. For fox sake, they fight more than my children. 

I'm way behind on my writing. Mainly because our life has been pleasantly boring. We've spent a lot of time outside. A lot of time reading. A lot of time sitting around doing absolutely nothing. It's been fantastic.

Today's adventure- celebrating a birthday. My twins are eight today. It has only hit them in the last three days that we won't be doing any of the things we would normally do for their birthday. Suddenly there is all kinds of anxiety and worry. 

"Do I still get presents?"

"Do we still get cake?"

"Can we do something fun?"

"Do grandma and grandpa get to come over?"

Yes. Yes. Yes. And sorry babies, no. 

These two spent the first month of their lives confined to a tiny plastic box. Mom and dad were the only people allowed to see them. After they were released from NICU, we spent the better part of the next two - three months confined to the house with just their sister. Never in my wildest dreams did I think we would spend another day shut away from the world. Yet here we are. Life's strange. 

It seems rather fitting to read a book that's a re-telling of the Rapunzel fairy tale right now. That's part of the reason I was drawn to this book. The other part? I was hoping for something lighter, more uplifting. Disney has spoiled me into thinking all fairy tales have happy endings. 

The premise of this book is a re-telling of the story of Rapunzel. You know, the girl with the hair who gets locked in the tower. Her magical hair is the source of everlasting youth for an evil witch. All of those elements are here but this story is so much more. 

Charlotte-Rose de la Force was a real historical figure. She is the person credited with creating the first recorded version of Rapunzel. She lived in France during the reign of the Sun King. Hers was not a charmed life. Charlotte managed to find herself entangled in scandal after scandal. After one scandal too many, Charlotte is banished to a convent. While working in the gardens, Charlotte is told the story of Rapunzel, or as she is called in this story, Marghertia. The story of Margherita braids (see what I did there) itself into Charlotte's story. After some time the reader is even given the back story of Margherita's witch.

Normally, I'm not a fan of stories that jump perspectives as frequently as this one does. Most writers aren't able to maintain the flow necessary to keep the story together.  I tend to find them a little choppy. This was not the case with Bitter Greens. Forsyth does a masterful job weaving the stories of all three women together. 

This story was exactly what I needed right now. I know I'm not being held against my will in a tower by an evil witch. I know I haven't been banished to a convent. I am stuck in a house with three demanding, bored, irritable princesses. However, much like Marghertia, I believe it's important to continue to look forward to a time when we will all be allowed to roam free. It sounds cliche.  I know but honestly, who couldn't do with a little cliche right now? 

I feel a little better having read this book. Right now, I think we could all agree, that really is the point of reading. 

Dates Read 4/1/2020 - 4/5/2020

Book 23/75